Don't break me
by trytothinkaboutit
Summary: Adventureland/Remember me crossover. Em lives in New York, working at a bar. One day she meets Tyler, and they're both quickly interested in eachother. I don't own the character. I don't own Adventureland or Remember me. PS. EM NEVER MET JAMES, AND TYLER NEVER MET ALLY.
1. Are you okay?

**Emily—Point of view.**

I had just quit Adventureland and moved to New York. The summer had been shit. I finally broke up with Connell though, which was a good thing. I was happier without him. When I first came to NY I studied at NYU, but I quit. It wasn't for me. At the moment I'm working at a club, as a bartender, which I honestly hate. My boss, John, is disgusting. He's always trying to get me to do things for him. I always refuse, but he doesn't stop. He is always touching me in places like my thighs or my hips. He really is gross.

The music in the club is loud. People are dancing, drinking and having fun. I'm standing behind the bar, taking orders, getting hit on by both old and young men, as well as young women. I honestly don't know if I should take it as a compliment or just be disgusted. I don't really care. I just want the money.

"Could I get a whisky?" A guy in a grey t-shirt and a leatherjacket asked me. He was good-looking, in his early 20's. He was smiling at me. I smiled back and answered him.

"Sure". I said and poured up a glass of whisky. "Thanks!" He said and smiled even bigger. I saw him quickly run his eyes up and down my body. I was only wearing a short skirt, a tiny top and a pair of high heels, I'm not surprised that he was checking me out.

He walked away. "Emily!" I heard from behind me. John was standing there, right behind me. I could feel his breath on my neck.

"Come with me, Em" He said and started walking towards his office. I followed and went inside.

"What's up?" I said, trying to sound calm. But I honestly wasn't, I never was around him. "Emily, baby…" I wasn't liking where this was going. "You're looking so sexy tonight." I didn't know what to say, I just stood there. "That skirt is just…." He was staring at my body. Every part of it. My legs, thighs, my chest, my lips. He was scaring me. "What do you want?" I quickly replied. " You know what I want, darling" He said and took a step closer to me. I couldn't move. He put one of his hand on my hip, and the other one on my cheek. "Stop.." Was all I could say. I couldn't scream, I couldn't leave. This was just him, he would stop soon. He just wants me to know what he wants, right? He's not gonna do anything. Is he?

I was in shock when I felt his lips on my neck. He hadn't gone this far before. I tried to push him away from me. He kept pushing himself against me, he was way stronger than I was. He put his hand on my thigh, he dragged his hand higher up my leg. His lips were now closer my chest, and my back was up against the wall. I didn't know what to do. I then realized what he was doing and I punched him in his stomach. He let go of me and put his hands on his tummy. "Fuuck!" He screamed. And I tried as quickly as possible to run out of his office.

I ran out of the club. The music was loud. Tears were in my eyes, but I wasn't crying. I was breathing loud and fast. I just wanted to get out of there. I grabbed my leatherjacket quick from behind the bar, and then started running towards the exit.

I sat down in the street a bit outside the club. I was breathing heavily, I could feel a tear running down my cheek. I quickly brushed it away. I bet my mascara was smooched all over my face. But I didn't care. I put my face in my hands and started to breathe really loud.

I sat there for a few minutes, breathing, crying, breathing and crying. After a while I heard a dark voice. "Are you okay?" I looked up. It was the same guy who ordered that whisky earlier. His face was different than earlier. He looked worried. I continued breathing, and finally answered him. "Yeah, just drunk and tired." I said and tried to make him believe me. "..Okay" He said and started walking away from me. I watched him. After about 5 feet he turned around. "I can't leave you here. You're obviously not okay." He said with the same worried face as earlier. "No, I'm fine." I said. But it wasn't believable, since I, two seconds later, started weeping.

**Tyler—Point of view.**

I didn't know what to do. I knew she wasn't drunk, that's for sure, since I had been staring at her the whole night. She didn't have one drink. Even though she had mascara all over her face, and tears running down her cheeks, she looked better than anyone I'd ever seen. She had the face of an angel, and the body of… Okay, concentrate, Tyler!

I sat down on the ground next to her. "Can I do anything?" I asked. She looked up, she still had tears all over her face, but she wasn't weeping anymore, which made me glad. "No, I'm sorry, just a rough night." She said, and gave me a little smile. I smiled back. "Do you wanna tell me what happened?" I asked. Maybe it was to forward? "Eh.. well.." She mumbled. I shouldn't have asked. "My boss's just a dick. That's it." She said and started to dry her tears. "Oh, I'm sorry.. " I said. I wonder in what way he was a dick. I didn't want to think about it.

"I should go home." She said and gave me a quick smile. "Where do you live?" I asked. "Not far from here" She said. "Do you want me to walk you home?" I can't believe I said that. She's gonna think I'm some sort of psycko. Well, I guess I am. I was staring at her all night, her face, her body. And now I wanna walk her home? Yepp definitely psycko.

"Yeah, that would be nice." She answered. For reel? Well okay. We started walking. And she defiantly wasn't kidding when she said she lived close. We walked in silence. And then we said our goodbyes. "Thanks, and I'm sorry for ruining your night" she said. What? _She_ ruining _my_ night? She made my night. But I couldn't say that. "No problem, It was nice meeting you" I said and gave her a big smile, maybe a little bit too big. "Goodnight" she said and walked into her home.

I didn't even get her name, or number. I wanted her number and her name. I hadn't looked at a girl like this since before Michael, my brother, died two years ago. I hadn't wanted anyone in two years. I wanted her.


	2. Coffee

**Tyler- Point of view.**

**The day after**

Her face was still on my mind. I was lying in my bed, I just woke up. I couldn't stop thinking about her. Why was she crying? What did her fucking boss do to her? What if he tried something with her? If he did, I'm going to fuck him up. Why am I thinking as if she was my girlfriend. I will probably never find out what happened anyway.

Aidan, my roommate, walked in to my room. "What do you think you're doing?" I asked him, as he put his ass down on the side of my bed. "What happened last night?" He asked me with excitement in his voice. "What do you mean?" I asked him back. "With that sexy bartender-chick?" He said. What? How the fuck did he know about her? "What are you talking about, dude?" I asked. "Well, you were mind-fucking her all night, and then I saw you guys walking home together…" I just gave him a stare. "She's fucking sexy, man. If you didn't go home with her, I would totally go for her.." Okay, enough, I got it. "Nothing happened.." I answered. I guess Aidan saw the disappointment on face, cause he actually believed me for once. "Really? Because she's fucking hot man, in that skirt too…. Wow!" He replied. "Yeah, enough, man. "

Aidan looked a little bit surprised that I told him to stop. "Okay, man. So what really happened..?" He asked me in a sincere voice. I didn't know exactly what to answer, so I decided to tell him the truth.

"So nothing happened? At all?"

"Nothing happened…" I replied.

"Well, since nothing happened, is it okay if I go back and ask for her number or something, because she's fucking beautiful you know.." He doesn't think I know? How could I fucking ignore that? "No, dude that's not okay. And you don't think I noticed that she's fucking beautiful, huh?" I said with an angry tone in my voice. "Well, I guess it's hard to ignore…I gotta go to work now! And I promise not to hit on your bartender-girlfriend…" He teased. I didn't answer.

I got out of bed and went to work.

I just got back from work. It was pretty late. All day this one girl's face was on my mind. I wanted to see her again. I wanted to know if she was okay. Should I go to the club? Maybe not.. she would think I was a stalker. And I didn't want that. But I needed to see her. I took my jacket and walked out the door.

When I arrived at the club there were a lot of people there. I walked through the crowd. I could see her. Her eyes were shining all the way over here, they were green. Beautiful. I walked right over, I didn't know I had guts?

She looked surprised when she saw me, I didn't know if she was happy or annoyed. "Hey" I said. She still looked a little bit shocked, but at least she answered. "..Hey.."

I didn't really know what to say, but I thought it was best to be honest. Just tell her what you feel, dude. Except maybe the "I-wanna-see-you-naked"-part. "I'm really sorry to bother you, but I honestly haven't been able to stop thinking about you." I blurred out. I could just as well continue now... "I was actually kind of worried. And I'm sorry I didn't say anything on the way back or comforted you... I feel really stupid... " She interrupted me. "I have been thinking about you to" YES! "I feel like such a dick ruining your night, and making you walk me home as if I was a 5-yearold. I'm really fucking sorry for fucking up your night"

Was she making fun of me? Why did she feel these things? I didn't know what to say. "What?" was the first thing that came to my mind. "Yeah, honestly. I should really stop dragging people into my shit-fucking-problems."

"When are you done here?" I asked her. "Tonight?" She replied.

"Yeah."

"In 15 minutes. Why?"

"If I wait here, can I take you out for some coffee?" I asked. She looked surprised, but she smiled, so that was a good sign.

"Um, sure." She said. I smiled.

"I'll wait outside." I said.

I started walking away, but on my way out I realized I didn't know her name. "By the way, what's your name?" I shouted back. She smiled. "I'm Em." Em. Short for Emily I'm guessing. "I'm Tyler" I said and continued walking away. I was smiling.

**Emily- Point of view.**

What was it with this guy? He was handsome, and kind… But why in hell was he worried about me? And coffee? Was this a date. I don't date. But he was special in some way. He seemed… nice. And nice is always good. And anyways, coffee isn't a big deal.

I walked out to see him standing by a little bike. When I walked out of the door I could see he was staring at my body. But it wasn't in a creepy way. It looked like he was more fascinated than horny. Which made me feel…I don't know…beautiful?

"You're here" He said and gave me a big smile. I liked his smile.

"Yepp, so where are we going?" I asked and smiled back at him.

"I know this café. I can give you a ride.." He said and pointed at his bike.

I smirked and agreed.

When we arrived at the café we immediately sat down and ordered two coffees. He looked at me and laughed a little. I looked adorable when he laughed.

"So..." He said, trying to start some sort of a conversation. "How was your night?" I didn't know if he wanted to know if it was better than yesterday or… "It was okay, better than yesterday..." I said and gave him the answer he probably wanted. He smiled at me. Our coffees arrived. "Are you okay? Like if you wanna tell me what happened, you can, I'm not gonna either judge or tell anyone.." I felt secure with him. Why shouldn't I tell him. I had spent the whole night last night convincing myself that what happened wasn't a big deal. John didn't rape me or anything, so I'm fine. I could tell him.

"It's not really a big deal, I'm a bit over-dramatic…" I said and smiled at the ground.

"Okay?" He said.

"Well, I guess my disgusting boss tried to like…" This was gonna be harder than I thought. "Ehm.. He tried to.. I don't even know.. h-h-he." I couldn't put It in to words.

"It's okay.. I'm here" He said and put his hand on top of mine. His hand was big and warm. He made me feel safe. "He forced himself on me." Shit! I said the words. Now I can't take it back. He knows.

"Em… I'm so sorry. That's awful… What a fucking dick!" I could see that he was getting upset. I didn't know what to say. I just wanted to cry.

**Tyler- Point of View.**

I was so angry, I couldn't feel my hands anymore. I hardly knew her, but that some disgusting perv tried to rape her made me furious. All I saw was red. I didn't know what to say. I could see tears developing in her eyes. No! Please don't cry! I couldn't handle seeing her like this.

I let go of her hand. Moved my ass to the seat next to her a pressed her body against mine. My arms around her. I didn't know what to do. All I could do was hug her. I didn't want to let her go. She was so soft. I could feel her tears on my shoulder. She finally hugged me back, her hands grabbed my neck. I just wanted her to stop hurting.


	3. Honesty

**Tyler- Point of view**

She had stopped crying. And we had actually had a few laughs after all the tears. It was pretty late, and it was probably time to go home.

I decided to walk her home, with my bike by my side. And it was pretty quiet on the way back. But it wasn't awkward, it was nice. We arrived at her place and we were about to say goodbye to one another.

"I had a good time" I said and smiled.

"Yeah, me too. I'm sorry for making you listen to all my bullshit" she said and looked down at the ground.

"No, I'm happy you told me..." I answered. She smiled at me.

"Do you want to come inside?" she asked me. Really? I didn't think she would ask me. "Yes, I would like that." I said. She took up her key, and we walked inside her apartment. It was small and cozy. "It's nice. I like it" I said. She giggled. She was really cute.

"Do you want something to drink?" She asked me. "Sure" I replied.

"What do you want? Water, coke, beer, whisky?" She asked. "I'll take a beer, thanks" I answered. I sat down on the couch. It was really comfortable. Em came back with two beers. We jokingly toasted, and then took a sip each.

We finished our beers, and talked for a while, about everything. I even mentioned Michael at one point. She was so interesting. And sexy. I couldn't help but thinking about that from time to time. After a while we both fell asleep on the couch. Her head was on my chest. I liked having her near. I smelled her hair right before I fell asleep.

Where was I? I woke up in a place that definitely wasn't my bed. I looked around and quickly remembered the night before and where I was. Emily. Where was she? I sat up and looked around for a few seconds. Then I heard a sound from the bathroom.

I got up from the couch and started walking towards the bathroom. But before I was there, I saw that the door was half open. I could see her. But she couldn't see me. She was only wearing some black underwear. She looked fantastic. Her hair was wet. She'd probably taken a shower. Her body looked… amazing. I wanted to touch her.

I just realized how long I'd been standing there. It was probably a little bit weird, so I decided to walk back to the couch. She wouldn't find out about this.

I sat on the couch, waiting for her to come out from the bathroom. It didn't take long until she was standing in front of me. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a tight, white t-shirt. She looked great.

"You're awake!" she said, and smiled at me. "Yeah, just woke up. I figured you were in the bathroom, so I didn't want to disturb you." We both smiled. Then we realized how stupid we looked, so we both laughed.

"I had a good time last time" She said as she sat down next to me. "Same here. I like you, you're really interesting." I said. I felt like I could tell her the truth.

"I like you too. And again, I'm sorry about being so depressing and ruining our coffee- thing..." She said. I was getting a little bit annoyed at apologizing, she did absolutely nothing wrong. She was just being honest, I needed some honesty in my life.

"Stop apologizing, I wanted to know, remember? You did nothing wrong." I said to her. She smiled at me quickly. "I actually like people being honest."

**Emily- Point of view.**

That sentence made me thinking about Conell. Yeah, Tyler doesn't know shit about me. If he knew all the fucked up things I had done in the past, he probably wouldn't like me at all. Because like he said, he like honest people.

"Okay. I should probably go." He said and started walking towards the door. "Okay" I answered. "Maybe we could like meet up later today?" He asked me and smiled. He looked a little bit nervous. I really wanted to meet him. He was exactly what he called me, interesting. I felt something for him. I was attracted to him. But I don't know if I could ever be in a relationship… But if I actually did like him, I should meet him again right? Yeah. I should, and I will. "Okay, sounds good." I said. "Maybe you wanna come to my apartment and we could like.. watch a movie or something?" He asked. "Sure. But I don't know where you live?" I said. " I can pick you up if you want to..." He said. "On your bike?" I asked jokingly. He laughed. "Yes?" He was really sweet. "Sure. What time?" I asked. "6-7?" He looked at me. "Okay.

He left the apartment. I still couldn't figure out what we were doing. Were we dating? Were we just buddies? I don't know. I'm lost.

**Tyler- Point of view.**

I went to work for a few hours. Then I went back to my apartment. Aidan sat on the couch watching 'The Simpsons' when I got back. Fuck. Was he gonna be here the whole night. He usually goes out. I hadn't kept him updated about Em…or "the sexy bartender" as he referred her to.

"Hey, dude!" He screamed when he heard me walking into the apartment. "Hey, asshole!" I screamed back. "Are you gonna be here the whole night?" I continued. "That's the plan" He said. Fuck no. He couldn't be here. "Could you maybe change that plan?" I asked in my kindest voice. "What now?" He responded. "I'm having a friend over…" I said. I didn't know exactly what to call her.

"Now I'm interested." Aidan said and turned off the tv. "Who is she? I want a name?" He said. "Her name is Em, okay?" I answered. "Is she hot?" Was his next question "Come on, dude. She's just a friend! But yes." He laughed. "Then why can't we all hang out as friends?" He asked, knowing that I wasn't telling him the whole truth. "Whatever, dude. Stay if you want to." I just wanted him to stop talking, but no luck there.

"Do I know her? Have I seen her before? Who is she?" He rambled. Oh gosh. I might as well tell him the truth. "It's the bartender I met." I said. His face was actually hilarious. He looked both surprised and excited. His mouth was wide open. "The sexy bartender!?" He asked shocked. "Yes. You can't hit on her okay." I said and started walking towards the door. "I'll try…" I heard Aidan mumble behind me.


	4. Come here

**Tylor- Point of view**

I took my bike over to her apartment. It wasn't that far at all. I knocked on her door, having to wait for a while before she opened it. She finally opened the door. She was wearing a pair of short shorts, and a small t-shirt. Was she trying to kill me? Her hair was wavy, she looked perfect.

Just realized that if Aidan saw her in those shorts and that tiny shirt, he wasn't going to be able to follow the "don't hit on Em"-plan. But she was with me now. He couldn't flirt with her.

I looked into her eyes, and I realized that she had been staring at me, staring at her. He had a smirk on her face. "Like what you're seeing?" She said jokingly. I laughed a little bit trying to hide that I was blushing. I didn't know what to say, so I thought I'd continue this whole honesty-thing… "Yeah, actually…" I said and smiled. She smiled back at me. We just stood there for a while, looking in to each other's eyes.

"Shall we?" I said after a while. She nodded. And we went to my bike.

We arrived at my apartment. This was the scary part, introducing her to Aidan. Gosh, anything could happen. I opened the door for her, "Thanks" She said and walked inside. "Nice place" She continued. "A little bit messy, but I like it." I laughed. "Thanks."

"Aidan!" I shouted. I already told Em about Aidan on the way over. I heard footsteps from the kitchen. Aidan stood in front of us. "The famous Emily." He said and reached for her hand, to shake it. Em laughed and shook his hand. "I've heard _so _much about you" He said, only to tease me. "I wish I could say the same, I just heard about you on the way over" she said, and laughed. That's my girl. Make him suffer. He looked a little bit insulted, but then he laughed too. "And by the way, I like your legs." He said. Oh no, here we go…. Em handled it well, she just laughed it off, and said "Well…Thanks"

We sat down on the couch and put on a movie, it was some sort of a drama, romance movie. I didn't really watch the movie. I mostly watched Em. And Aidan obviously couldn't shut up. I sat in the middle.

"Why does girls always expect guys to open doors for them?" Aidan said. "If they want equality, shouldn't it be with the shitty stuff too?" He asked in an annoyed voice.

"Of course." Em said. "But we're usually not asking guys to open the door for us…" She continued. "Guys are the once who do it, and if a girl does it for a guy, they feel like pussies or something… It shouldn't be that way. But that whole thing is just as much on the guys as the girls… We don't make you open doors. It's just this fucked up society that's makes us look weak and shit…" She said.

Aidan didn't know exactly what to say. I turned my face at her and smiled. She smiled back. After that she put her hand on my thigh. She held it there for a while, and patted it a little bit. She looked at me, I looked at her. There was so much tension there, I didn't even know what to do. I wanted to kiss her, touch her.

She took away her hand and we continued watching the movie. I looked over at Aidan, and he was staring at me with a "holy shit"-look on his face. I guess he could feel the tension as well. Then he patted my back, which made me laugh a little. Em hopefully didn't notice.

Aidan had fallen asleep on the couch. Me and Em were now in my room. I told her she could stay because it was so late, but I would have asked her no matter the time. She went through my books, and asked me about pretty much every single one of them. It was nice.

It was pretty late and it was probably time to sleep. We were still wearing our clothes. "Do you wanna borrow a shirt or something to sleep in?" I asked her. "Yeah, please." She answered. I went to my closet and got a white t-shirt. "Thanks" She said and smiled at me. "The bathroom is over there if you wanna change in private…" I said and pointed towards the bathroom. "It doesn't matter" She said and took her jeans off. Oh, lord… I couldn't help but to stare as she took her clothes of in front of me. She took of her tiny shirt of, and she was standing there in her underwear. She looked so beautiful. I tried really hard to act normal, but it was really difficult when she was standing there half-naked.

I decided that maybe I should change too. I took of my shirt and put on a pair of soft pants, instead of my hard jeans. I didn't need a shirt? Was she gonna be uncomfortable? She just changed in front of me, she probably won't feel awkward.

"Since Aidan is sleeping on the couch, is it okay if we share the bed?" I asked her. She looked at me and smiled… "I mean, I can sleep on the floor if that's more comfortable for you…" I said. Em was already on the bed. I liked seeing her in my bed. It just looked right. She patted on the other side of the bed. "Come here." She said and smiled. It wasn't a happy smile. It was more of a sexy smile. I didn't know what she was trying to say. But I laid down next to her.

I was on my side of the bed and she was on her side. "Come here…" I heard her say. What is she saying? What does she mean? I looked at her as if I didn't understand what she was trying to say. "I don't bite…" She said. And I moved to the middle of the bed. She put her arms around my bare chest, and her cheek on my neck. I could feel her breathing. I put one of my hands around her small waist. I hadn't felt this good in a long time, or at all…

I woke up with Em in my arms. I wanted to lay here forever. She smelled so good. She felt so good. I wanted to be even closer to her than this. I wanted to explore her.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked at me. "Hey…" She said and smiled. "Good morning…" I said and laughed. "Why are you laughing?" She said. "You look so tired..." She laughed too. Then suddenly she walked out of the bed, changed her clothes. It was just as compelling as the last time. "Where are you going?" I asked her when she was full on dressed. "I have to go see my dad, he's visiting this weekend." She answered. "Oh. But maybe we can meet up later?" I proposed. She stopped up for a bit and looked me in the eyes. "I'd like that…" She said and smiled. Her smile! It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. "Can I come to your place…?" I asked. "Sure… At 8?" She said. "Sounds good." I smiled, and she left.


	5. What did he do?

**Tyler- Point of view**

She was 7 o clock and I was at my apartment. Aidan just walked in the room. "Hey, dude. Let's talk" He said. I knew he was gonna try to discuss Em at some point. "So… are you two like boyfriend/ girlfriend now or what?" He asked me with a smirk on his face. I usually got annoyed when he asked me about girls, but Em wasn't like the others. I wanted to tell someone about her, and my best friend was a good choice I guess.

"Not yet…" I replied in a disappointed tone. "How far have you guys gone?" He asked. "Nowhere..." I answered. "You haven't even kissed?" He asked. "No..." I said. "But you slept in the same bed, right?" He asked confused. "Yeah, it was great." I told him. "But you didn't try anything?" He looked so confused by now. I guess he would never understand any type of closeness other than sex. "No." I answered. He looked pretty shocked. "If I had _that_ in _my _bedI would bone her right away." I wish he could stop talking about her like that, can't he see that I like her? Do I have to spell it out for him?

"Come on, dude. Stop saying shit like that? She's special." I said. He looked at me and nodded. "Okay, sorry." He left the room.

Wow, I was late. She was already 8:03 and hadn't even gotten on my bike yet. Better leave now. I took my bike and rode it over to Em's place.

I knocked on her door. I waited for a while. She didn't open. I knocked again. She didn't open. I stood there for a few minutes, until the clock was 8:20. I couldn't stand there all night, so I decided to go back to my place.

I went down the stairs and out to the street. I started walking towards my bike, when I saw Em walking towards me. If I could see correctly, she was limping…!? I started walking towards her fast. I finally saw her face and I saw the blood running down her forehead. "Em!" I screamed. "What happened, sweetie!?" I asked trying to sound calm, but I was far from calm. She was breathing really loud, and her eyes were watery. She grabbed my neck and hugged me tight. She started crying. I hugged her back as hard as I could.

"Darling, tell me what happened." I whispered into her ear. "I didn't… meet my dad..." She said, still with tears in her voice. "What are you talking about?" I asked her soft. "I met with my boss…. He wasn't happy…" She said. Now she was weeping. I'm gonna kill that fucking idiot. He hurt her. I was gonna make him pay for it. But I had to keep my calm now, for Em. "What did he do to you!?" I asked. I knew I sounded angry. Still holding her in my arms.

We went inside. I helped her up the stairs. I was so mad at that asshole. When we came inside the apartment we sat down on her couch.

I started cleaning the scar on her forehead. "Tell me what happened, baby, please?" I said as I put on a little bandage on there. "It's not as bad as it looks" She answered. Her voice was calmer now. She didn't sound as upset, which was good. "What did he do!?" I know I was screaming this time. She looked a little bit scared. That wasn't the point.

"He... h-he… He told me to go there to talk about my salary… I knew I shouldn't have believed him… Gosh… I'm so stupid…" She was mumbling.

"Do _not _blame yourself. Just tell me, sweetie. I'm here for you." She looked me in the eye. "He told me to go there to talk about my salary, but of course he just wanted to fuck or something. So he sort of attacked me. And there were no people there this time... and" I interrupted her. "How far did it go!?" I said. "He was really drunk and…" I interrupted her again. "HOW FAR DID IT GO, EM!?" She looked at me with sadness in her eyes. "He hit me a few times, and he tried to touch me…" she sounded so sad. It was heartbreaking. "Where!?" I asked. I felt stupid asking all these questions, she was the one in pain, not me. "Where do you think, Tyler!? But he didn't succeed, so it doesn't matter!" It sure as hell matters. "I hit him with a bottle of beer and got out of there…It wasn't as bad as it sounds."

I was mad. I always used to get in fights. But I'd cut down. But now, I wanted to kill that fucker. I felt her hand on my cheek. "Tyler… I swear, it wasn't as awful as it sounds." If I continued being mad, I was gonna end up scaring her. I did not want that. I looked in to her eyes. "You promise?" I said. She nodded. "How do you feel now?" I asked her. "I'm better, I overreacted…" What? She did not fucking overreact. "Stop making it sound like you're the one who's done something wrong, babe! Please." I said, and now even I had a tear in my eye. "Okay, I'm sorry." I went in for a hug, we hugged for a few minutes, then we fell asleep.

**Emily- Point of view.**

I woke up and I felt the heat of Tyler's body. He was holding me so tight. I felt safe in his arms. I felt some pain in my leg and my head. I immediately remembered my interaction with John. Tyler looked so mad when I told him about it. Maybe I made it sound like a bigger deal than it was. It wasn't like it was the first time he hit me or tried to make me fuck him. I wish I wasn't so emotional sometimes.

Tyler's eyes were open. He quickly sat up, still with me in his lap. "How are you, Em!?" He asked in a worried voice. "I'm okay." I answered. "You sure?" He asked. I nodded. I put my hand on his chin and trailed my thumb on his lower lip. He smiled. I wanted him to smile. I loved his smile. He put his hand softly on my forehead. "Does it hurt bad?" He asked. It honestly didn't hurt that much, which was good because now I didn't have to lie to him. "I can hardly feel it…You don't have to worry." I said and put my forehead against his neck. "It's all good…" I told him. I honestly think it was worse for him than it was for me.

Does he like me that much? Was it because I was his really good friend or was it because he liked me more than as a friend? We had shared a bed/couch a few times, and we did have both emotional and sensual moments. Which I've never had before. At least not both with one guy.

I went off his lap and went to take a shower. He said he had to leave and he left. I hope he wasn't gonna go see John. Please don't. I went out of the shower and got the phone. I dialed Tyler's number.

"Hey." He said on the other line. "Hi. You're not planning on doing anything stupid, right?" I asked him with a lot of worry in my voice. "Don't worry, babe. As long as you stay away from him, and he stays away from you, I won't do anything reckless." He said. I sighed. Thank god! "I won't ever go back there again." I said in a sincere voice. "Good. I'll call you later." He said, then we hung up.

I went back into the shower, and I couldn't help but fantasizing a little about Tyler while I was in there.


	6. I had her

**Tyler- Point of view.**

I didn't want to leave her, but I had to work. When she called me and asked me not to go see her boss, she sounded so scared. Was she scared for me? Did she care _that_ much? I was at work. I missed her so much. I wanted to see her. I wanted to hold her. Just hear her voice. I decided to call her up. "Hey, Ty." She answered on the other line. "Hey, Em. Are you doing okay?" I was still really worried about her, even though she told me she was fine. "Yes, I'm doing good." I was happy to hear her say that. "Good. Do you maybe want to meet up after work?" I asked her. "I actually can't. I just got a job at another club, so I'm working tonight." She answered. "You got a new job? That's great."

I was really happy that she had a new job, hopefully with a good boss this time. "So, you work nights?" I asked her. She sounded a bit disappointed when she answered me. "Yeah… I'm off at about 2 I think…" Damn. I couldn't ask her to meet me then, that would be way to forward. I didn't have to say anything cause she continued speaking. "But, if you want to… maybe you can come over after…?" She sounded a bit nervous. But god damn, she wanted me to come over, in the middle of the night. To do what? Watch a movie? Sleep? I didn't know, and I didn't care. I just wanted to be near her.

"Yes! I would really like that" I answered. She giggled and then she answered. "Good." I had a big smile on my lips. "See you at 2:15 then?" I said. "I can't wait." She responded. I couldn't either.

She was 1:30 and I was just sitting in my apartment waiting for the clock to hit 2. Aidan walked in. He had been out all night. He wasn't drunk though, which was surprising. "Hey..." He said and looked a bit surprised. I guess I would be too, since I was just sitting there staring into a wall. "Hi." I answered. "… What are you doing…? He asked. "Just waiting" I answered. I didn't know exactly what to tell him. "For what…?" I asked and laughed a little bit. "I'm going out." I said. Aidan gave me a weird look. "Is that a code for 'fucking Emily'?" He said and laughed. What? How the fuck did he know I was gonna se Em? Could he tell? "No!... Dude! Come on…" He looked at me. He was smiling. "You're totally into her, don't try to deny it… You guys are like eye-fucking every time I see you together…" I guess he was right about that one. I did like her. But did she like me? Maybe she just saw me as a friend? "I don't know…" I answered.

"But you're seeing her right?" he asked. "Yeah…" I answered. "Did you invite yourself over?" He continued. "No she asked me to come over…" I said. But it could have easily been the other way around. "In the middle of the night? Yeah, that screams 'You can't touch me there!'" He said sarcastically. I guess he was right. She wanted me to come over, in the middle of the night, that had to be some kind of hint.

"Whatever, dude! I have to go." I said and started walking towards the door. "Good luck! " Aidan shouted behind me.

I walked up to her door. I knocked. I waited for a while. Then she opened the door. She was smiling. She was wearing a white top, a black bra and shorts. Her hair was wavy as usual. She was wearing a little bit more eye-makeup than usual. She looked phenomenal. "Hey." She said in a soft voice. Softer then it usually is. She looked really happy. Her bandage was still on her forehead.

"Hey" I answered. I was smiling too. There was something about her that just made me smile. "Come in…" she said and pointed towards the living room. We sat down on the couch. We were both quiet. I needed to break the silence. I started rambling on about something that Aidan talked to me about a while ago, nothing interesting. She was smiling. At this point I was definitely mumbling. I could see that she was moving a little bit closer. She put a finger on my lips. "Shh" she said. And I could feel her face getting closer to mine. I had never felt like this. Was she gonna kiss me? I needed to kiss her, all over. I wanted to make her mine.

I looked into her eyes. She smiled. I did the same. We both moved our faces a little bit closer to each other. By this time I could feel her breathing against my lips. It felt good, and we weren't even touching. We sat like that for a while, just watching each other. Our eyes were connected the whole time.

Her lips finally touched mine. We weren't moving them, they were just pressed against each other. I had been waiting for this since the first time I saw her. Her lips were soft. We were breathing as one. We just sat there like that for a while. After that she was the one to take the first step. She put her hand on the back of my neck and grabbed my hair. She opened her mouth a little bit, and finally our tongues met. It felt like something I'd never felt before. I had never been this connected with anyone before.

Her hands moved from my neck to my hands. She grabbed them and placed them on her waist. I felt her. She was so small. She bit my lower lip softly. Aah... I moaned in to her mouth. I moved my hands from her waist closer to the side of her breast.

She kissed her way down to my neck. I had wanted her for so long, and now I had her. I had Em. After that we just started hugging. We held each other tight. I never wanted to let her go. She whispered something into my ear. Something that made me feel needed. "I missed you." She said and snuggled her face against my neck. It felt so good. "I missed you too." I said and kissed the bandage on her forehead. We hugged each other to sleep.

But I couldn't sleep much that night. I woke up many times, worried that she wasn't with me. But she was.


	7. Morning

**Em – Point of view**

I woke up with the biggest smile on my lips, but I could hardly remember what happened the night before. I know that I kissed Tyler, after all this time. Finally. I know that he kissed me back. I know that I liked it.

I opened my eyes and looked around my apartment; Tyler still had his arms around me. I could feel the heat of his body against me, I liked it. I liked having him near me. He made me feel safe.

I just stared at him for a moment, he looked peaceful sleeping. I didn't know what to do. Should I stay here with him, wait until he wakes up, or should I get out of bed before he wakes up?

I decided on the latter one. I tried to get up without waking him up. It was a difficult task, but I think I succeeded. He was still asleep.

I went into the bathroom and stared at my own reflection in the mirror. I looked… okay. I little bit like a prostitute with all the black makeup around my eyes, but I didn't look so bad. I was still in the clothes I wore the night before. I needed to change. I took of my shorts and found myself watching the big bruise on my leg, when I realized that all my clothes were in my bedroom. I walked past the living room where Tyler was passed out on the couch. I walked as quiet as I could. But I guess that didn't matter since I saw that Tyler's eyes were already opened.

**Tyler – Point of view**

I opened my eyes with the most beautiful view I've ever woken up to. Em was walking towards her room, you could tell she was trying not to wake me up. She was only wearing the white t-shirt from last night. She looked just as good if not better now than yesterday. But she still had a bruise from… I didn't even want to think about it. Anyone trying to hurt her made me want to kill them. I really wanted to go to the nightclub and fuck his face up, but I promised Em I wouldn't, and I want her to trust me. I want her to feel safe.

She looked at me, and I looked at her. Maybe for too long, since she was starting to laugh at me. I realized that I had just trailed my eyes over her whole body. I couldn't really help myself, she was looking so good. But the actual reason that I stared for so long wasn't because of her hotness, it was because of that fucking bruise. I was trying to keep my anger inside.

"Hey, how are you?" I asked her before she could open her mouth. She smiled towards me and quickly answered me. "I'm okay. Sorry if I woke you up." She was so cute. "You didn't, I was already up." We looked at each other for a while. There was a lot of tension between us. I wanted her. She was the one who ended the silence. "I was just on my way to get dressed, I'll be right back." She left the room. I couldn't believe that she kissed me last night. She wanted me too. I wasn't alone on this one. She wanted me. I want her.

"Can you come in here!?" I heard Em shout from her bedroom. I started walking towards her. I pushed open the door. She was standing there in a small, black dress. She looked so sexy. "Can you zip my dress?" She asked me and turned her back towards me. Yes PLEASE! Well I'd rather unzip it, but as long as I could be closer than I already were, I was OK with it. "Sure." I said and walked closer to her. She put her hair on the side of her neck. I started zipping the dress, I went as slow as possibly, I just wanted to have a reason to touch her. It was really quiet. All I could here was our breathing. We were both breathing pretty heavy. My thump touched her skin, she was so soft. I wanted to touch all of her. The dress was finally zipped and I decided to step away. I didn't know what else to do.

She turned around and smiled at me. It was really quiet, too quiet this time. "Why so dressed up?" I asked. Someone had to break the silence… "Ehm…" Her smile faded. "Well, my dad is in town." Was she for real, or was she going to do something else, like last time? She wouldn't dress up in a tiny, black dress for her father, right? I didn't ask her, but I gave her a look. " For real this time…" she said. "And the dress isn't for him, I'm going to work right after…" Oh, that explained a lot. "Oh, cool." I said and smiled.

**Emily – Point of view**

Me and my dad never had a great relationship after my mom died. So after our "meet-up" I was happy to go to the club. I was standing behind the bar pouring up drinks to already drunk people and watching the people in the club dance, grind and whatever they were doing. I actually enjoyed working at this place. "A beer please" I heard from a dark familiar voice. "Sure" I said without looking up. But then I finally did I realized who was standing in front of me; Connell.


	8. I'm sorry

**Emily – Point of View**

What? What was he doing here? Was he here to see me? This was not supposed to happen. I left him. I left my past behind me, I didn't want this back. Okay, don't get ahead of yourself, Em. Maybe he was just here to get drunk like everyone else. Maybe he didn't know that I worked here, or even that I moved to New York. I never told him. Okay, focus.

"Hey, Em." He said and smiled softly. What was I supposed to say? "What are you doing here?" was the first thing that got out of my mouth. He reached his hand over the bar and put it on my shoulder. "I missed you…" Really? I didn't expect that… He actually missed me? I hardly even knew that he liked me. And you have to like someone to miss them, right? He actually looked really happy to see me. "You want to talk…?" He asked before I could even respond to his "I miss you"-remark. "I can't talk, I'm working." I told him quickly and gave him the beer he ordered. "Maybe after then? Somewhere quiet?" I didn't want to talk, but another part of me wanted to. "Fine, come back here in an half an hour…" I said. "Great, I'll be back" He said and walked away.

This was just way too much to process. Connell… Did he want me back? I didn't want him back though, did I? We were never really in a relationship, so the word 'back' shouldn't even be used. But did he want me? I didn't want him. Tyler was the guy I liked. But it wasn't like he was my boyfriend. We kissed a few times, but that I've done with many more guys. Kissed them a few times, but never became boyfriend/girlfriend. He has probably kissed a lot of girls and not wanted them to be his girlfriends. Maybe I'm one of them? But we're friends. It's different, at least for me. We don't just kiss, make out or have sex… We talk. We care. At least I do, and it seems like he does to.

I want our relationship to be more than just friendship. I don't want that with Connell. But I don't think I'm ready to have a relationship with anyone, I'm too fucked up. But I do want Tyler. I want him.

The time had passed and I was looking for Connell in the crowd. After a few minutes of waiting I saw him walking pretty fast towards me. I was still behind the bar. "You ready?" He said when he finally arrived. He was still smiling. He never smiled that much back in Pittsburgh. "Sure" I said and grabbed my leatherjacket behind the bar. "There's a room back here, if that's okay?" I asked him. I didn't want to go anywhere else with him. "Yeah…Sure"

He followed me back to a small room behind the bar. He closed the door behind him. We were standing face to face. "I missed you a lot, Em." He said and gave me the kindest look I'd ever seen on his face. "You're married…" Why did I even say that? I didn't know what to say. "No, I'm not. Divorced." He said and showed me his ring finger. So she found out about me, I'm guessing. "Did she find out?" I asked him in a natural tone. "No, I left her. I told her that I was in love with someone else…" Holy fuck. Was he talking about me? No. He couldn't be. We were never in love. We hardly even liked each other. He was just my escape, and I was his, right? "Connell…" I said and started staring at the floor. I couldn't look him in the eye right now. "I know you left me. And that you probably don't want to be with me in any way, but I thought you needed to know the truth."

I was speechless, I honestly couldn't say anything. I could feel him walking a little closer. When I finally looked up he was right in front of me. He had a tear in his eye! What was this shit? Time for me to wake up! He put his hand on the back of my neck. "I'm sorry for fucking this up." He said. "It was fucked up all along." I answered him. And that was the truth. He didn't fuck it up, our "relationship" was a big fuck-up…

"Don't say that" he said, and before I could react I could feel his lips against mine. What was he doing? No! I couldn't be kissing him… But his touch made me feel… I don't know… gone. He always had that effect on me. I didn't have to think, I didn't have to feel. And that was a feeling that I always liked. I kissed him back. He put his free hand on my waist. My hands were still hanging by my sides. I didn't want to kiss him, but I couldn't stop.

I put my hands on his neck and grabbed his hair. By this time it wasn't just a kiss, it was a full on make out-session. Are hands moved from every part of our bodies, and the kisses were placed on both our mouths, necks and chests. I didn't like it. I never actually did. But I couldn't stop.

Connell started unzipping my dress. And right at that moment the door opened. I looked over, and the person standing there was the one person I didn't want to see me in this situation; Tyler.

**Tyler – Point of View **

What was happening!? What was she doing? This wasn't supposed to happen. I just stared at her for a short period of time. I didn't know what to say, so I just left. I was angry. I pushed people out of my way on the way out. I could feel tears in my eyes. Why? I never cry. I could hear Emily's voice behind me "Tyler!" I didn't listen. I just kept walking. As soon as I got out of the club I got on my bike. I didn't know where to go, but the most reasonable place was probably to go back to my apartment. And that's where I went. I waited outside the door for a while. I didn't know where to put my anger. I hit the wall a few times. My hand was now bleeding. I couldn't stand there all night so I decided to go inside. Aidan was sitting on the couch.

"Hey!" He said right before he saw my face and my bloody hand. "Wow, dude. Have you been fighting people without me!?" He said in a jokingly tone. I guess he knew that I had a temper by now. We used to get into bar fights together all the time. I calmed my voice before I answered him. "No, I just … "I could just as well tell the truth. "hit the wall a few times…"

He looked a little bit surprised and he quickly asked me why. "Just angry" I didn't want to tell him the whole story. "At?" He wouldn't stop. "I doesn't matter…" He looked a little bit suspicious. "Did something happen with Emily?" How the fuck did he know? "Why would you ask that?" I asked him. " Well, you usually hit the person you're angry at, not the wall…And I'm pretty sure you wouldn't hit her…" I guess he was right about that. "What happened?" he continued. "Nothing…" I said and started walking towards my room. "Come on, man!? You never tell me anything these days!" he shouted. I stopped and turned around. If I could tell anyone it would be him. "I walked out on her making out with some douche…" He looked even more surprised now. "Wow…" was all he said for a while. I could see he was thinking. "Didn't you tell me that you guys haven't even kissed?" He asked me. "That was a few days ago." He still had that surprised look on his face. "Are you guys boyfriend/girlfriend?" he then asked me. I started thinking… We weren't actually in a relationship, for all I knew we were just friends. We kissed a few times, but maybe that didn't mean as much to her as it did to me. She didn't actually do anything wrong? But I was still angry. "No… But…!" I started before Aidan cut me off. "Then she didn't do anything wrong, I'm sorry to say so but…" I guess he was right. He continued, "Maybe you should tell her that you like her, sorry again, but it's totally obvious. You should tell her that instead of running around and hitting walls… they don't deserve it" He smiled and continued speaking, I guess he could see that I wasn't going to say anything. "How many times haven't you slept with one girl one night and another the night after? No fucking big deal, dude." But this wasn't like that. It wasn't like it was some stupid one-night-stand, we hadn't even had sex. It wasn't just a sexual connection… "I see your point" I said.

**Emily – Point of View**

I didn't know what happened. It was all blurry. I felt drunk, but I hadn't had one drink all night. Was Tyler mad at me? Did he like me? I did nothing wrong, right? Well, what I did was bad, but not towards Tyler? I didn't hurt him, did I!? Maybe he just left because it would be weird if he stayed and watched… Maybe he didn't care at all… But why was he there at all? Was he there to see me? Tell me something? Why did he leave? He could have just waited if it didn't bother him…

I was walking fast up the street, I didn't know where to go. My breath was going faster than usual. Connell walked after me when we were in the club, but he lost me, thank god. He called me 6 times. I didn't answer once. I needed to find Tyler. I tried to call him, but he didn't answer. I need to find him.

I don't know what happened.

I don't want this.

I want Tyler.

**Tyler – Point of view**

I wasn't angry at her. I was angry at the asshole who kissed her neck, who unzipped her dress. I was angry at the situation. I wasn't angry at her. She doesn't know how I feel, because I haven't told her. This is all _my _fault. But doesn't she feel what I feel when we're together!? If she did, she wouldn't have made out with some other dude. She wouldn't have.

Aidan told me to call her, I didn't listen. I couldn't talk to her right now. Even if we weren't in a relationship, we were sort of in a silent relationship. We called each other, we decided the next time we were going to meet when we were still in the same room, we slept in the same bed, we told each other things, we helped each other. Even if we weren't in an official relationship she still should have told me that she was dating… making out… with others.

I was lying on my bed when I heard a knock on the door into my bedroom. "Not now, Aidan!" I shouted. I could hear the anger in my voice. "Emh…" I heard from outside my room. It wasn't Aidan. It was a girl's voice. Em! "It's not Aidan…" She continued. What was I supposed to do, to say? I didn't say anything. "It's Em, can I please come in?" I heard her say. I couldn't say no. "… Ehm… Yeah…" I said and sat up. She opened the door, and I could see the tears in her eyes. She still had that small dress on her. I couldn't ignore how beautiful she looked, even though this wasn't the time. I could feel the tears that were building up in my eyes too. She looked so sad. I don't even know why. I could tell she didn't know what to say. "Can I sit?" She asked after a while. I still couldn't say no. "Okay." I answered. She sat down next to me… She was staring at the floor. "I'm really sorry, Tyler… About what you saw… I.. I… know we're not together or anything… but…" She was mumbling. "I'm not with him or anything…" Well that's good I guess… But I wanted her to continue talking, so I just sat there quietly. She was still staring at the floor. "I used to know him… He was my… I don't even know what he was, but we used to hang out or whatever…" She was still mumbling. So he was her ex? Or not? This wasn't making me feel any better. But I still wanted the full explanation. "When I lived in Pittsburgh… He… We had a relationship… I guess… But he was married, I haven't talked to him since I left…" She was with a married man!? That part wasn't any of my business, but it just surprised me. "He just showed up at the bar tonight… I didn't know what to do…. We… talked… Then he kissed me… I don't know why I didn't stop it, I should have" She finally looked me in the eye. "I'm sorry." She said and stood up. "that's just… all I wanted to say, I'll leave you alone now."

She started walking towards the door. I didn't want her to leave. When I was with her I always felt the same, even if I was angry… "Em, don't." Was the only thing that I got out of my mouth. She turned around and looked at me. "What?" She asked me in a kind voice. "Don't leave…" She looked a bit surprised. She didn't say anything so I continued. "I like you. I don't want you to be kissing other people. Not him. Not anyone else. I was so angry when I saw you guys together…. I thought… we were like… not boyfriend/girlfriend… but I thought we had something special… and when I saw him touching you, you touching him… it all just broke." She sat down next to me and closed her eyes. "I like you too. And I would have felt the same thing… But the reason I was ever with him from the beginning was because… I mean… I never liked him the way I like you. I still don't. When he… kissed me… It just brought me back…" I could understand that. And she liked me! She said it!

"Forgive me?" she said and put her hand on mine. I could forgive her. "Yes." I said and put my free hand on her cheek. She smiled. And then she did what I had been waiting for all day. She slowly put her soft lips on mine. It wasn't long, it was just one kiss. But I could feel it. What I feel every time I'm with her. I bet that douche in the bar didn't feel it. He didn't feel it.

When she finished her face changed in a second from a smile to a more worried look. "What happened to your hands!?" She asked in a worried voice. "Uhm, I… guess I have a bit of a temper…" I chuckled. She didn't smile. She still had that worried look on her face. "What do you mean..?" She trailed her finger over my wounds and continued talking before I could answer. "Oh my god… did you hit someone? Was It because of me?" She looked so sad again… I wanted her to smile, not cry.

"I was just a bit upset… so I hit the wall a few times…" I answered her. I felt like I could tell her the truth. "Oh my gosh… I'm so sorry if I upset you that much… does it hurt a lot?" she asked. "No, I guess I'm used to it…" She looked even more worried now. "Why?" She asked me simply. I didn't feel any judgments in the room. She just wanted to help. "I guess I was pretty angry before I met you…" I told her. "Why?" She asked again. This was a sensitive topic… I didn't know if I was ready to talk about it yet… Honesty was my latest rule. I should be honest. She put her arm on my neck. "You can tell me…" She said in the most calming voice. Maybe I should. I should. I took me a few minutes until I could get it out. But I did. "Because of Michael." I said as a tear started falling on my cheek.


	9. I Destroy Everything I touch

**Tyler – Point of View**

I can't believe I told her. I told her everything. Everything about Michael. About his death. About how I found him. Em didn't say much. She just sat there, hold my hand. Maybe that's what I needed.

**Emily – Point of View**

I don't do this. I don't get emotional with guys. Never. But he just told me his life story. He just cried in front of me. I didn't know what to say. All I did was holding his hand. It was quiet. He let go of my hand. He put his face in his hands. I honestly had no idea what to do. I put my hand on his back exactly when I heard someone outside of the door. Aidan, I'm guessing. "Are you guys okay?" He asked.

I couldn't answer. I didn't know. Didn't look like it to me. He was crying. I waited until Aidan opened the door and took a step inside. "What's going on?" He asked with a sort of worried face. I didn't know if Tyler had noticed that he was in the room yet. I stood up. I didn't know why, I just needed to do something. This was just too much. I couldn't get involved. I know I said I wanted him to tell me. I wanted to know. He opened up to me, I'm never gonna be able to do that the way he did. I didn't even know what to do when he was telling me his darkest feelings. I just sat there, what an asshole.

I went over to Aidan. "Talk to him. I have to go." I started slowly run towards the door. I'm so stupid. First kissing Connell, making him upset. Typical me. Then just sitting there doing nothing when he is pouring his heart out to me. He deserves better.

I started walking back to the club. I needed a drink. I don't know what happened during my conversation with Tyler. I feel like everything changed in 30 minutes. I was chasing after him. I decided that I wanted him. Now I'm running away. I just don't know anymore. I have a strong feeling that we're gonna break each other. That's why nothing is gonna happen between us.

I sat by the bar with a drink in my hand. One of the other bartenders walked up to me. His name was Evan. We had actually gotten to know each other a tiny bit, even though I'd only been there for a few days. He was nice. "Are you okay, Em? I saw you running out of here earlier…" _Don't make your shit anyone else's._ _It's not his problem, don't tell him. _"I'm fine." I said and gave him a smile. "You don't seem fine… I saw you running after that guy… Tyler?" How did he know his name? I hadn't mentioned him. "You know Tyler?" I asked him accusingly. "No. I don't. You screamed his name a few times…" Oh. "Did I?" I asked. I did actually remember, I just really didn't feel like getting in to it. "Well, It wasn't a big deal." I told him. He sat down next to me. "Then there was a guy running after you, screaming _your _name." Can't this guy take a hint? I don't want to talk about this. "Like I said, no big deal." He put his hand on my shoulder and patted it quickly. "If you say so." He said and took his hand off of me.

What was he doing? Maybe he was just friendly. But why was he pushing it? This is none of his business. "Yeah. I guess I'll see you tomorrow." I said and walked out of the club.

I didn't know where to go. I couldn't go back to Tyler. I didn't want to go home, I didn't like being there very much. I didn't have a lot of friends in the city. Sure, I had Hannah who worked at the bar I previously worked at, I had Evan… But neither of them were good friends. They were…acquaintances? I guess I had Tyler and Aidan too, but I couldn't go there. I just couldn't. _I always do the same thing. I fuck everything up. I hurt people. I'm not gonna hurt Tyler. It's better if I just let him live his life. I'm doing this for him. For once maybe I can do the right thing._

I picked up my phone and sent a text.

**Tylers POV. **

Emily had just walked out. Why would she do that? I guess I fucked up again. I shouldn't have made this her problem. I shouldn't have told her my sob-story. She'd only been away a few hours and I already missed her. This didn't happen. Aidan was gone too, he went to some girl after I told him I was fine. Once again, alone in the dark, with nothing but my fucked-up mind.

I couldn't stay like this all night, I would go crazy. Too many feelings to process, Emily, Michael… I couldn't be alone. I wanted Em. I dialed her number. No one answered. Can she please answer?

**Emily POV**

Tyler had called. I couldn't answer. I sat in the cab. Is it awful to ignore him? Even if I'm doing it for him? Should I tell him why I'm ignoring him, why I can't see him anymore? My phone rang again, it was Tyler. This time I decided to pick up. "Hey." I said in a natural tone. "Hi…" He sighed. "What happened? Where did you go?" He asked sweetly. "Um…" I didn't know what to say exactly. He continued, "If I did anything wrong I'm really sorry… I didn't mean to bring you in to my misery…" Why did he feel like everything was his fault when it wasn't? "It wasn't you" I blurred out. I was waiting for him to continue the conversation. "Then what's wrong?" He asked. He didn't sound angry, he sounded… worried. "Uhm… We shouldn't see each other anymore…" I said quickly. I wanted to see him, I wanted to touch him, I wanted to be with him, but I know that I would just fuck it up. I always do. "What do you mean?" He asked, now he sounded more sad than worried. "I like you a lot Tyler, I do. But I don't do relationships. I can't. I don't open up to people. And I always destroy everything I touch. I'm sorry…" There was silent for a while. "Em. I don't do these things either…" I stopped him. "You just told some girl who you haven't even known for a month about the darkest things in your life…." I said. "No, I didn't." He said. What exactly did he mean? He continued, "You're not just 'some girl'… Don't you get it?" I did get it. "And you're not just 'some guy', but I still can't open up to you that way… That's the difference." I told him quickly. "And that's why this won't work. I have to go now…" I said. "Em, don't…" He said right when I hung up. Why did he make me feel these things? I wanted to go to his apartment and hold him. But I couldn't. The cab stopped. "We're here" He said, and I gave him some money. I walked out walked into an apartment-building. I knocked on the door. Connell opened the door.


	10. I wanna throw up

**Emily's POV**

Why would I go to Connell, I was just with him and I regretted it 2 minutes later. But it's just easier to be with him. I don't have time or strength for feelings anymore. Connell didn't make me feel the way Tyler did. Connell made me feel less than I did in any other situation. That's what I needed.

"Hey. I'm glad you're here" Connell said and walked into the tv-room. I followed him. He turned around and looked at me. "Who was that guy?" he asked me in a soft voice. "No one..." I answered. There was a silence for a while. But it didn't need to be broken. I didn't want to talk. "So why are you here?" he asked me. I couldn't tell if it was in a flirtatious way or if he just wanted to know. I walked closer to him and kissed him hard. Not in the soft way I did with Tyler. He pressed me up against the wall and we continued kissing and touching. I knew what was going to happen. "I've wanted you for so long…" Connell whispered into my ear while I was kissing his neck. I moved my lips to his mouth to get him to stop talking. I didn't want him to talk. All he did now was moaning. I was fine with that. He put his hand on my back and slowly unzipped my dress. I knew what was gonna happen. It's happening. Even though I promised myself _never again. _It's happening.

**Tyler's POV**

She said it wasn't because of me. Maybe it wasn't… But why didn't she understand that I understood what she was feeling. It didn't matter if she didn't open up, at least not this soon. Why couldn't she though? Didn't she feel safe with me? I feel clueless.

Fuck! I have to fix this. I want to be with her. I can't lose contact with her. She makes me happy. I thought I made her happy too, but that's not what I believe now. I tried calling her again, but she's stopped answering my calls. Maybe I should go to the club tomorrow, there's not a lot I can do right now.

I heard Aidan walking into the apartment again. I could hear him talk very loudly, there was a girl with, that's for sure. I heard laughing. "Shut up!" I screamed from my room. The faster I fell asleep, the faster I can find Em and fix this shit.

As soon as I woke up I went to Em's apartment. I knocked a few times, but she didn't answer. Maybe she understood it was me and decided not to open. I stood there for a few minutes, but I figured I couldn't stand there all day. I walked out on the street and started walking. Right then I saw Emily walking in front of me. It reminded me of the time she came limping towards me. I didn't like the feeling I got.

She was walking with her head down, she was wearing the same dress as the night before. The dress that I zipped that morning. I wondered quickly who she had been with… Connell? I honestly had no idea.

She looked up and saw me. She looked pissed. She walked faster. "Em…" I said. She ignored me and tried to walk passed me. I grabbed her arm softly. "Come on, you gotta talk to me…" I said to her. She turned around. She still looked angry, but this time there was some sadness in her eyes. "I did, Tyler. Did you hear what I said?" she answered. I still had my hand around her arm. She still stood in front of me. I had to say something. "I did hear you. But I don't understand." I said. Her face softened a bit. "Tyler, I know you don't. And I don't expect you to..." She looked down on the ground. I let go of her arm. "I want to understand." I continued. She smiled a bit. "I'm sorry for leaving yesterday… And for what happened with Connell… And for wasting your time..." She said, she choked up a bit. But she also very quickly turned around and started walking up the stairs of her apartment-building. She was gone.

That's not what was supposed to happen. I was supposed to fix this. I wanted to follow her, but… I couldn't. She didn't want me.

**Emily's POV**

Why does he have to be so sweet? It's hard to resist his sweetness. I just wanted to kiss him. But what I was doing was good for him. Even if it made me suffer. He'll find someone that'll make him happy. That's all that matter.

I sat on my couch and I was breathing hard. I wanted to throw up. This was all too much. Connell, Tyler… John… Even though I wanted to deny it, they were all very much on my mind. I had to calm down. I tried to breathe slowly. It worked. I needed to get dressed. I worked earlier today. I had to go to the club. First I had to change clothes. The dress I was wearing was a bit ripped. I chose a red dress. Dresses and skirts weren't really my style. But when I started working as a bartender it became almost like a duty to wear sexy outfits. The red dress was both tight and short. And that was the way it's supposed to be.

I started walking to the club. The music was already playing hard and a lot of people were already there. I walked up to the bar. "Hey, Em…" Evan said. "Hey…" I answered. "You ready for the night?" He asked as I threw my jacket at a chair. "As ready as I will be…" I answered and started taking orders.

People came and left. Mostly young men. Evan took the ladies orders. I talked to some of the guys that came by. Some of them shared story's, I felt like a therapist, even if I didn't say a lot. Some of the guys hit on me, but I had gotten used to that by now.

"Could I have a tequila?" An older lady in blue asked me. "Of course" I said and poured up a glass. She was a lot older than the other people in the club, but she wasn't old. Maybe 50-55… I couldn't tell… I handed her the drink. She looked sad… and a bit shocked. "Is something wrong?" I asked her as I continued talking orders from men. "You could say so…" She said and took a sip of her drink. She looked into my eyes. "Do you wanna tell me about it?" I asked. I'd rather talk to her than getting hit on by another guy. "Well…" The woman started. "Cancer…" She said and raised her glass at me, then she took another sip. This hasn't happened before. What am I supposed to say? "Oh…" I said. "I'm so sorry" I continued and gave her a sympathetic look. "Yep… everyone is…" She said. "Everyone keeps telling me how sorry they are for me…" She was definitely rambling… "Well… I am…" I said. "My children…" She was starting to get emotional. "You have children?" I asked. "Yes. Two." She answered. "I'm so sorry- that's a really fucked up situation." I said. She looked into my eyes. She let go of her drink. Maybe that was a bit insensitive of me… But she smiled. "That's true, hun. That's very true."… We continued talking for a long time.

**Taylor's POV**

Aidan kept telling me to get over Em and the whole situation. But I couldn't really. He took me out to pubs and clubs. It had been 2 weeks since I had talked to Em. I missed her. I really fucking missed her. But maybe Aiden was right, I had to focus on other things. A lot of shit was going on with my family. I couldn't ignore that.

**Emily's POV**

I had been seeing Connell almost every night since I talked to Tyler. For about 2 weeks. Everything was still going through my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about Tyler. Tyler. Connell. John. Tyler. Connell. John. I felt sick. I wanted to throw up.

I needed to throw up. I was laying in Connell's bed. He was lying next to me. It was morning. I didn't have any clothes on, but I had to get to the bathroom. I ran over to the toilet and threw up. I'm pretty sure I had woken up Connell, since he screamed "Are you okay!?" to me. I didn't answer. After I finished throwing up I went back to his room. He was still lying in the bed. I was naked. He looked at my body. I didn't care. "You throw up a lot you know" He said as I put on my underwear. "This is like the second time…" I said and continued getting dressed. "Okey…" He said and got out of the bed. I had my jeans and my bra on. He put his hands on my waist and kissed my cheek. Then he went to the bathroom. I put on my shirt, my shoes and my jacket. And then I left his apartment without saying goodbye.

I had been throwing up a few times. And it did actually scare me a bit. I had been thinking a lot about the woman in the club, the one who had cancer. The cancer had just showed up like that for her. Maybe I should get checked up. I hate hospitals, but I am too afraid of death not to.

I had called the doctor and gotten an appointment. I sat in the doctor's office. I had just done some tests and she told me that's she would be right back with the results. I don't know if it's good or bad that she knows so fast.

The doctor walked in to the room. She looked down in her papers. "So, Emily…" She said and looked at my face. "Yes, doctor" I answered. "I have your results…" She said and looked serious for a second. "And…?" I asked… I was really nervous. "Emily… You're pregnant."


End file.
